Posts have been a bit light lately. Just haven’t been in the mood plus nothing super exciting going on that I can discuss from work, unless you want to count being slotted to attend an equal opportunity leaders course (don’t worry, I wouldn’t call that exciting either, but having additional duties looks good on paper in this job). Part of the reasoning of not being in the mood is that I have been faced with a very important decision lately. Its been keeping me twisted up and contemplating a lot of stuff. Its sapped my energy. Taken me to dark places in my own mind and left me crumbled with dreams shattered.
Should I Stay Or Should I Go
This isn’t a question I have any doubt towards. This job pisses me off to no end. I despise playing nanny to grown men who can’t abide by the oath they swore. I have no time for childish games; if I did I would be a ranger. Worrying about how our funding looks from year to year and whether or not come October my pay is going to be a pawn for legislators who can’t get their shit together, well… it just isn’t for me. Above all else, I hate serving and giving so much of myself and my family to uphold our constitution while my countrymen work so hard to take away the rights afforded to them. Its a bit tiresome. Yet, sometimes, regardless of all the bullshit that you just absolutely can not stand, you have to stand and be a man.
By all accounts in the modern society you would think that being a man is something detestable. The rise of overly feminist groups in the last decade has moved beyond elevating women to equality with men and instead worked to diminish men to a level of subhuman; a role reversal if you will and not true equality. Payback for all the suffering endured and attributed to callous little boys who never left the playground. Allowing that to dictate how a man should be perceived is nothing short of tragic.
What is even more tragic is when men themselves refuse to stand up and be men. Whether it is a deadbeat dad who abandons his kids, the coward who can’t stand and defend the ones he claims to care about, the wimp who is so afraid of the shadows that he’d rather have all of his freedoms stripped in the search of safety, or just the guy carrying around a “murse”; these people who shoot themselves in the foot because of their inability to deal with a little bit of discomfort in life make the rest of us look as though we are what the overly feminist crowd wants to portray us as, weak little boys who have no business being in charge of a damn thing.
If you’d like a little more reading on the subject I recommend this article: http://average2alpha.com/5-ways-that-men-are-becoming-little-bitches/
All of that aside, my personal situation has led me to have to make the uncomfortable decision of sacrificing my own happiness for the well-being of those that I claim to love. I’m about to be stuck in a job I hate for the next ten years because at the end of the day when your child may possibly need specialized medical care through his formative years a man puts that need above his own desire. A man stands and takes responsibility, despite the expectations of others who may be disappointed. If that last bit applies, well, sorry about your luck, though I’m sure whoever you are you rank at least slightly below my kids in the people I give a fuck about.
From here I’m left with few options other than just maintaining the job I currently have. There’s no perks at 10 years, you just keep going. Its at this point I’ll have to start making drug deals (figure of speech, settle the fuck down) to start pursuing different options with in my career. What will the future hold, we will see. There’s ideas bouncing around, but if this job has shown me anything, prematurely getting excited about something will only lead to disappointment. So for the time being I’ll refrain from discussing them until more develops.
The important thing is to realize that as I continue forward I will, willingly or not, be training the next generation of soldiers and mentoring up-and-coming snipers. Hopefully those changes I have hoped for over the years will start to see fruition. Whatever comes, just know I’d rather be climbing mountains, crossing ice fields, and standing on peaks than what I will be dealing with. But I would give that all up to ensure the little boy with one of the roughest starts ever, is afforded every opportunity to excel in life. That is being a man.