While playing on Facebook earlier (if you haven’t figured out by now I have a Facebook page for Arctic Specter, https://www.facebook.com/pages/Arctic-Specter/717179168338975 ; go like it and keep up on the things I say that I don’t feel are worthy of a full blog post) I came across something that caught my eye. To pretty much everyone else and possibly even the writer of the headline, it would probably come off as harmless. More than likely I am just reading too much into it, though I tend to believe that I am not based on previous experiences. I snapped a screen shot and did a little highlighting to show it off, but I will elaborate on the matter after the picture.
Aside from supporting firefighters, which you should, the trending headline read “Carrie Underwood announces she is expecting first child with husband Mike Fisher”. First and foremost, let me go ahead and say that in the off chance that either of them read this, Carrie Underwood is a talented singer and while I’m not her biggest fan I can appreciate her music, and I thoroughly enjoy watching Mike Fisher play when I get the chance to catch his games. Congratulations to them both on their bun in the oven. That being said, what bothered me here was that two celebrities, who are married, have conceived a child together and the head line had to make sure to throw in that she is pregnant by her husband.
Pregnant by her husband. Let it soak in for a moment. I’ll wait…
We have entered a state of morality in our nation where it has become questionable by whom a married woman is pregnant. This saddens me. We can do better than this, people! There shouldn’t be a question of who the father is. There shouldn’t be a second thought to it. But here, plain as day, it had to be said. That’s just awful.
I understand not everyone gets an ideal life. Things get rough. Poor decisions are made. But simply stating it like this makes it seem like its the norm for society. Like, “No big deal her husband isn’t the father. Just another celebrity relationship”. Its unacceptable to think that we put such a benign attitude towards infidelity. Where is the shame? Where is your embarrassment? Where is your humility? What happened to our society’s honor? Are we so busy fighting for the rights of all people, regardless of gender, to be able to marry that we have put so little effort into making marriages worthwhile? Have the concept of marriage become just another American assembly line product, as terrible and devoid of quality as a McDonald’s hamburger?
You might think I am over reacting to the whole thing. It was such a simple statement and in truth it could have been bent way out of proportion. What really makes me think otherwise is the fact that even hospital staff, during preliminary questionnaires, had asked my wife if our son was indeed mine. What kind of professional medical question is that? Is it even such a problem in labor and delivery departments of hospitals that it needs to be asked? Granted, there are family situations that I am well aware of that the answer could legitimately be “no”. However, those being few and far between, the norm should not be to have to ask, unless it is prevalent to the matter. It comes off rather rude and insulting to every other family in which it doesn’t apply. And in my family’s case, caused an additional disruption in an already tense situation that nearly took both the life of my wife and son. Unnecessary is a severe understatement given the scenario that was occurring.
Ultimately, it worries me that we have come so far as a society, yet could still potentially see infidelity as the norm. We are far from perfect, but often it seems like we run in the opposite direction from it purposefully. I am aware that we will never do away with infidelity, it’s bound to happen, but simply stop making it so damn glamorous. Stop letting society think its normal to have a child with a man who isn’t your husband (or have a child with another woman when you are married, men) and try to raise your kids in the loving family they were meant to have. Stop belittling the moral value that is associated with giving yourself to someone else and hold it dear. It may one day be the only thing you have that you can call yours.
Stay hidden; stay safe.