I promised this post a few weeks back and I’ve not had the time nor the muse to sit down and write it. I still don’t, that aside I’m forcing myself to actually write something. So, good, bad, or ugly, here it is and its what you get for now.
My nanny is great. She spends all day with my daughter watching the same re-run Disney shows all day and somehow keeps her sanity. However, any grown adult can only watch the same episode of Sofia the First so many times week. Because of this, she has recently started doing crafts with my daughter, which I think is awesome. I like that my child is getting some art in her life throughout the day and isn’t just glued to a TV all day in the absence of her mother and I. She constructed some flowers and colored an owl, and even built a toilet roll rocket ship. This all sounds great, with the exception of one down fall… She brought glitter into my house.
For those of you unaware, I have a deep and undying hatred of glitter. This began while I was on my second deployment. My wife had sent me a care package with a bunch of goodies in it, one of which items, happened to be a card that had a bunch of glitter all over it. Unfortunately, in transit, care packages tend to get beat around; this caused all the glitter to be knocked loose. Subsequently, everything else in the box was covered in the loosed glitter to the point of it ruining every damn thing in the box. Since then, every single spec of glitter that infiltrates my belongs just irks the shit out of me to the point that I become obsessive compulsive.
You see, glitter never really goes away. It hangs around, fighting the odds, near indestructible. It is nothing more than matter in a shiny form. Matter cannot be destroyed, it can be changed molded, formed, but never destroyed. It spreads from place to place as would the common cold. In fact, you are more likely to cure the cold than you would be able to completely get rid of glitter. It is the most resilient thing I have ever seen and if it were an army it would never be defeated. Despite my best efforts, I simply cannot rid myself of the sparkly menace. Glitter can burn in hell; where it would probably outlast the apocalypse anyways.